Can Lalu’s blood prevent Modi from becoming PM?

Patna : Medical experts have launched an investigation into the link between the blood in the veins of Lalu Prasad Yadav and the post of prime minister of India. This was after the former Bihar chief minister said, “For as long as blood runs in my veins, I will not allow Narendra Modi to become prime minister.”

Speaking to Tenali Rama Reports, Dr Rajendra Prasad marvelled at the clue Lalu Yadav had provided to the scientific community. “He has given us fodder, err, food for thought. We plan to ask Mr Yadav for a blood sample and test it to see if it has any special properties that can prevent another person from becoming PM,” Dr Prasad explained.

The team of scientists have asked the Central government to announce a special grant to enable them to undertake this difficult project. Prime Minister Dr Manmohan Singh has reportedly given his nod, noting “theek hai” on the file containing this request. Union HRD minister Kapil Sibal too has okayed the idea, observing that with the diminishing political equity of Lalu Yadav, it would be a zero loss to the country if his blood was used for a scientific purpose.

The scientists were however stumped when offer of help came from an unlikely quarter. Gujarat chief minister Narendra Modi called Dr Rajendra Prasad to compliment him on taking this initiative.

“Mr Modi told me to take utmost care in this project. He said the milk that Lalu drinks is from cows whose ancestors were Gujarati. He also suggested that our team of scientists should not look at the veins in Lalu Yadav’s body as containing only blood. They would also be containing some air, he said,” explained Dr Prasad.

Support has also come for `Operation Lalu’ from his political rival, Nitish Kumar. “Lalu ji and we are one in this mission to stop Modi from becoming PM. I request the Centre to grant special status to Bihar keeping this in mind,” the Bihar chief minister said.

But critics of the RJD boss say this is usual Lalu bluster. “Remember one time, everyone used to say Jab tak rahega samose me alu, tab tak rahega Bihar me Lalu. Now see, the potato is still there in samosa but Lalu has been thrown out of power in Bihar,” said Sharwanand Tiwari, a one-time ally of Lalu Yadav.