New Delhi : (Rahul Gandhi returns from school)
Rahul : Mummy
Sonia Gandhi : Yes Rahul, how was your day?
Rahul : Mummy, today ten of my classmates asked the class teacher to appoint me as the monitor of the class.
Sonia : Whattttt?! Just 10? Why so few a number? Didn’t you announce last week that you would like to play a larger role in the classroom from now on?
Rahul : Yes, mummy, like we decided over breakfast, I said the exact words.
Sonia : Phir why sirf dus students maang kiya to make you the monitor? Digvijaya? Salman?
(Digvijaya Singh and Salman Khurshid come running in)
Sonia : What is this? Yeh kya hai? Digvijaya, only ten, sirf dus, students have asked for Rahul Baba to be made monitor. This is too less a number. Dus main kya Dum hai.
Digvijaya : No M’am. Dus ka Dum was a popular TV programme hosted by Salman.
Sonia : Salman? Salman, you are a TV host too. Yeh kab huwa? Kaise huwa? Kyon huwa?
Salman : No, no, m’am, not me, Salman Khan.
Rahul : Mummy, Salman Khan is a cool hero. Very Dabangg. I want to use one of his dialogues in the class next time. Main jab ek baar commitment kar deta hoon, to main apni khud ki bhi nahi soonta.
Sonia : Chup. You will listen to me before and after you make any commitment. Is that clear? Now chup kar ke wahan baith jao, Rahul and eat your pasta. And you will not speak till I tell you to.
(Rahul makes a face and eats pasta)
Sonia : (turning to Digvijaya and Salman) : Please organise more classmates tomorrow to make the demand to make Rahul the class monitor. Let there be a huge uproar and then Rahul can agree.
Digvijaya : Today I am told after ten students made the demand to the class teacher Meira Kumar, Rahul baba stood up in anticipation that he would be appointed immediately. But Meira Kumar told him “Aap baith jayiye”.
Sonia : Is that so? What was that studious student Manmohan doing?
Salman : Woh pehle se hi baithe huwe the.
Sonia : That is alright. I want Rahul to be made class monitor. I am wary of that other student, what’s his name, err, yes, Lal Krishna Advani. He is always eyeing the job. Like a Class Monitor-in-waiting.
Digvijaya : We should make Rahul Baba prepare one of his chapters very well so that Meira ji is suitably impressed.
Rahul : I know the Kalavati chapter by heart.
Sonia : Chup. That was the chapter you prepared four years ago. Everytime you cannot give the same presentation. Do you have the gamechanger speech with you?
Rahul : No. I tore it when I went to Lucknow.
Digvijaya : But didn’t you tear the notes of other students there?
Rahul : (sheepishly) : I also thought so. Baad me pata chala I had actually torn my own notes.
Salman : M’am, I can lend him my notes on the benefits of having a quota.
Sonia : No, you failed in the exam because of those notes, remember.
Digvijaya : Speech does not matter, M’am. Let Rahul baba be appointed monitor first. As soon as that formality is over, I will tell his classmate Lalu Prasad to raise the issue of the blackboard in the classroom not being very clear or dust on the chairs or any other silly reason. And the teacher will get busy sorting that out.
Sonia : Phir theek hai. Once he is chosen, ask other classes to issue messages congratulating Rahul over the responsibility.
Salman : It will be done.
Sonia : Ok, Rahul, done with your pasta?