Bangalore : The who’s who of the political, cricket and entertainment world descended on Bangalore to felicitate Rahul Dravid, who has called it a day in Test cricket. It was an evening when everyone who had seen the Wall help build Indian cricket brick by brick, had something to say about the gentleman cricketer.
Tenali Rama was present at the evening and reports on who said what and how.
Rahul Dravid : I am really thankful to all of you that you have come here on this occasion. Very touching this is.
Ravi Shastri : All three possibilities could have happened in your case mate. You could have retired, you may not have retired or you may have decided to retire after a few more series. But at the end of the day, cricket is the winner.
Kapil Dev : I always stress upon the importance of knowing when to retire.
Karunanidhi : But Dravid thambi, you have not been a true Dravid-ian. Because we in the Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam never retire. Heh heh heh.
Jayalalithaa : Mr Rahul Dravid, the doors of the All India Anna Dravida Munnetra Kazhagam are always open to you. In our party, we respect people who know to retire at the right time unlike in the DMK (shooting a nasty stare at Karunanidhi).
Azhagiri (mutters angrily) : Why is everyone speaking in English? Even Appa.
Meira Kumar : Shaant ho jayiye. Utejit mat hoyiye. Baith jayiye
Manmohan Singh : Madam Speaker, with your permission, I rise to inform you that I am seated in my chair. Finger on my lips.
Sonia Gandhi : Goord, Manmohan ji.
Rahul Gandhi : Why I am feeling as if you are passing out of college, Rahul and I have flunked again in the class
Digvijay Singh : No, Rahulji no. It wasn’t your mistake. The examination hall where you went was not good enough. Next time we will give paper in Himachal Pradesh and also avoid Gujarat.
Kapil Sibal : For once, I can say your retirement , Rahul, is not a zero loss to the Indian team. I must write a poem on you on the flight back to Delhi tonight.
S M Krishna : Ladies and Gentlemen, Rahul and I played a match when he was a young boy. He defeated me in three straight sets. That day I predicted one day he will go on to play tennis for Portugal.
Suresh Kalmadi : Rahul, if you want to go to London Olympics, tell me. I can get a place for you in any team. But you will have to excuse me now. It is time for our evening tea. Raja, Raja, where are you?
Andimuthu Raja : Here I am Kalmadiji. Rahul thambi, congratulations. I see that tea is served here also on first come first served basis, just like my 2G license.
Arnab Goswami : Mr A Raja, have you come out on parole? Can I see your papers? Where are the Tihar Jail guards? This is atrocious. An undertrial in this party. Breaking News on Times Now. (turning to Rahul Dravid) Good luck to you Rahul. But I must ask you this since the country wants to know, how many years of IPL cricket will you play.
Rajdeep Sardesai : Yes, let’s be honest. Tell us. Ah, Sachin is here. Sachin, when you think of Rahul Dravid, what is the first thing that comes to your mind?
Sachin Tendulkar : 194 not out. Multan. Pakistan. Aila
Shahrukh Khan : Hey, Rahul. I am so proud of you. Muah, muah, muah. You must remember I also played a part in your popularity. Just imagine if you did not have my screen name `Rahul’.
Mamata Sharma, Chairperson, National Commission for Women : Rahul, I must tell you that everyone finds you so sexy
Laxman Savadi : (former Karnataka minister who resigned after Porngate) : Psst. I have more sexy stuff on my mobile phone
L K Advani : In 1975, when I was in prison during the emergency, I had a fellow prisoner called Rahul Dravid. One day, he told me … (he is interrupted by Sushma Swarj dancing)
Sushma Swaraj : Dhinka chika dhinka chika dhinka chika dhinka chika … Badhai ho badhai ho
Nitin Gadkari : Rahul ji, the country is proud of you.
B S Yeddyurappa (to Gadkari) : I am also proud of Rahul Dravid. Now make me chief minister.
Rakhi Sawant : By Jeejus, itna hot cricketer maine zindagi me nahi dekha. More hot than Baba Ramdev and Salman bhai. Kasam se. I am so nervous even to approach him.
Kamaal R Khan : I am the SRK of Bhojpuri cinema. I have just landed from Qatar. Kiss to my favourite cricketer Rahul Dravid
(The party is almost coming to an end, with most guests having left when Vijay Mallya comes rushing in)
Vijay Mallya (catching his breath) : Hey Rahul, am I too late? Sorry. The blessed Kingfisher flight was cancelled, God bless the airline. Cheers mate. Is BCCI giving you gratuity and your Provident Fund amount? Can I take a soft loan from you?
(Pic courtesy : rahul-dravid.blogspot.in and hyderabadi-blog.blogspot.com)