Original Koh-i-noor found in Hyderabad during treasure hunt

Hyderabad : “The Koh-i-noor in Britain is a fake that was probably bought at Hyderabad’s Jummeraat Bazaar, a market for stolen goods in the city,” declared H.Y.D. Reddy, Chief Archaeologist, after the original Kohinoor was among the diamonds found during the treasure hunt at the city’s Vidyaranya school. The treasure even by conservative estimates, is worth thousands of crores of rupees and makes India the richest country in the world. A beaming Finance minister Pranab Mukherjee has declared that the treasure will wipe out the entire fiscal deficit.

Upset at the disclosure, a spokesperson of Queen Elizabeth has declared that she will send Prince William to India immediately to negotiate for the transfer of the real Kohinoor diamond. The Prince is likely to be accompanied by David Beckham and Andrew Flintoff on his India tour. It may be recalled that Kohinoor originated in present-day Andhra Pradesh and travelled quite a distance before the British took it away.

President Obama has congratulated Prime Minister Manmohan Singh on the discovery and has asked India to buy aircraft from American manufacturers now that the government is cash-rich. China has vowed that it will manufacture `Made in China’ versions of the Kohinoor and flood the Indian market in two months. A spokesperson of the Lashkar-e-Taiba has said Hyderabad’s merger into India in 1948 was a contentious decision and the city should be made part of Pakistan. President Zardari is believed to have indicated that even 10 per cent of Hyderabad would do.

In India, meanwhile, there is immense excitement over what to do with the money. Vijay Mallya has reportedly applied for a loan to Kiran Kumar Reddy and has even offered to sell UB products below MRP in alcohol-loving Andhra Pradesh, if the loan is sanctioned. Suresh Kalmadi has suggested that with this kind of funds, India could organise the best world-class Olympics ever.

Music composer Bappi Lahiri has told his friends in Tollywood that in case, there is some gold in the treasure, he would be interested in purchasing. Actor Rakhi Sawant has said she is delighted to hear about Kohinoor as it is “very good-looking”.

“Not only good looking, it is also very tasty. I always eat Kohinoor Basmati rice,” Rakhi said. 

But people in Kerala aren’t happy. Trade unions in the state have called for a hartal over the weekend, demanding that the quantum of treasure in Sree Padmanabhaswamy temple in Thiruvananthapuram also be made public.

Asked for his reaction in Hobart, Indian captain M S Dhoni said, “We could be having such treasures everywhere in India, you know. So by rotation, you know, every city in India should be excavated. And we should do it fast, not slow.”