New Delhi : Soon after he returned to his office after addressing the media about the need for regulation of the internet, Union Telecom minister Kapil Sibal found an email waiting for him from email@example.com. Perplexed at the mail address and with half a mind to press `Spam’, Mr Sibal opened the mail to find it was indeed from superstar Rajinikanth. `Tenali Rama Reports’ could get its hands on the email and reproduces it here, and hopes it won’t be pulled up for objectionable conduct.
Namaskaaram to you. I just saw your press conference talking about how google, facebook, textbook, copybook, rulebook, etc etc etc are troubling you. LOL. No, actually as my grandchild says ROFL. (ROFL = Rolling on floor laughing, in case you did not know).
Why this kolaveri kolaveri kolaveri, Kapil? (In case, you don’t know yet, kolaveri means murderous rage in Tamizh) As Maapillai Dhanush sings, yours is a flop song, Kapil.
Let me teach you a few tricks. Baba counting starts 1, 2, 3. Haha, there is no zero. Now read carefully. Naan oru thadavai sonna, nooru thadava sonna maadhiri (If I say something once, it is equivalent to saying it a hundred times, Kapil).
Your government is very powerful. So what you should do is to set up hitech systems to control the internet. I can send Shankar who directed my `Robot’ to you to give tips. Like once he sent an email from Chennai to Delhi and I stopped it in Hyderabad. Ithu eppadi irukku? How is it?
You got to instal the best antivirus to ensure all objectionable content is deleted the moment it is uploaded. Simple. You could have just asked me Kapil. I recommend Rajinikanth anti-virus. Peru kaettale chumma athuruthilae (the mere mention of the name sends tremors, doesn’t it?) You will get one-year warranty till 12/12/12. My Happy birthday, you see. Hahaha.
I also faced problems with all those silly jokes about me on the net. So what did I do? Any one found forwarding a bad Rajini joke, finds his `forward’ button disabled with this software. En vazhi thanee vazhi (My way is a unique way).
I wish you had just asked me all this. I gave the same tips to President Obama and look today, the American cyberspace is so safe, so clean. And you know what, Obama has put up my photograph in his living room and he shared this pic on Facebook. (See pic)
But I must appreciate your honest approach. Just think of it. If any of your two predecessors in the Telecom ministry had decided to control the internet, how would they have done it. One tip solaren. At least, they would have never called Microsoft, Yahoo, Google and Facebook together for a meeting. You get what I mean? Sooper.
Ta ta bye bye